Spiritual Questions and Answers with Radhanath Swami

To Forgive is So Hard. What to do? Radhanath Swami Answers…

By on November 26, 2010 in Nature with 127 Comments

ForgivenessQuestion to Radhanath Swami: Sometimes someone causes us so much pain that even if we forgive that person, the memory of that incident keeps coming back to our mind. We want to forgive that person completely, but somehow we find ourselves helpless. How do we deal with that situation?

Radhanath Swami: Real forgiveness must come from the heart. In the beginning we may forgive on a more superficial platform, because for real forgiveness to come from the heart it may take time. If our experience had been traumatic, it may even take a long time. But we should have that aspiration to really forgive, we should have that prayer. Krishna understands our intensions and prayers even if we do not have the power or the ability to do it right away.

In the Bhagavad-Gita Krishna tells us that for one who aspires to take shelter of Him, He preserves what we have and carries what we lack. On our own, we don’t have the power to forgive. But we know it is the right thing to do. We know that by forgiving, we’ll be relieved of the poison of hatred. We know it will be pleasing before God and I’ll be forgiven if I forgive others. So we should pray to be relieved of this disease of hatred. We should pray to God for that power; we should go to saintly people and reveal our hearts to them and ask them to help us; we should try to cleanse our hearts through chanting God’s names and meditating on the Lord. Then Krishna will help us.


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